Hands (2017-2019)

An image of bruises on my hands following a hospitalization in 2017. I was and still am very interested in images of hands as a method of portraiture; in hands being a strangely revealing of the state of one’s life.

An urge to explore this imagery came up again in 2019, so I continued the series:

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part three in a series exploring hands and mental health (which i’ve not titled yet, but i’m sure a title will reveal itself to me eventually). i was taking some pretty heavy duty painkillers for two days while recovering from PRK— which everyone deemed pretty normal, necessary, and acceptable given that i was in excruciating fucking pain because i had just taken a laser to my goddamn eyeball. i had to take the painkillers in addition to the meds that i take for my mental health— which are also, in a sense, painkillers, but are somehow not always deemed normal, necessary, and acceptable, even though without them i would be in excruciating fucking pain mentally. it felt like i was taking A Lot of medication. but then, where do we draw that line? i find that interesting. which medications we decide are taboo. which illnesses requiring pharmaceutical treatment we decide are taboo. how much medication you have to take before it’s “a lot.” the legitimacy of pharmaceutical treatment. am i selling my soul to big pharma❔❔ i haven’t fully collected my thoughts on this matter (and i’m not sure if i can), so, instead i made visual art. 🥃

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