09 Oct My PRK Experience
**Update: I made this into a video and read it aloud, if you want to hear the jokes from an actual human voice. The essay remains below!**
I recently got PRK surgery done on my left eye (yup, just the left). While prepping for it, I read approximately one million "My PRK Experience" blog posts, and I wanted to write my own for a couple reasons:
- I haven't read any blog posts about getting just one eye done.
- I thought it would be funny.
- This seems better than me telling people I had laser eye surgery done, and them going, "like Lasik?" And me going, "haha yeah I got Laser Eyes," and them being confused, and me being like:
I hate glasses, I hate the way I look in them, I hate the way they press against the bridge of my nose, I hate how disgustingly dirty they get without me even noticing, I hate how many germs probably just hang out on them, having a goddamn party an inch away from my eyeballs.
This is why I typically wore contacts. Well, contact. Only one of my eyes needs a corrective lens. I diligently wore monthly contacts in my left eye for years. And I was careful with them, because I’ve read those freaky articles about flesh-eating amoebas devouring people’s corneas because they left their contacts in too long, and I have anxiety issues. I never slept in them, I kept them clean, and you know what? They were still a massive pain in the ass.
The tipping point: three times in two weeks, my contact fell out of my eye because my eye was so dry. Do you know how much monthly contacts cost? A six-pack of monthly contacts is, like, sixty bucks. So I literally cried out thirty hard-earned dollars. I was crying money. Enough was enough.
This was what compelled me to get expensive, excruciatingly painful elective surgery.